When Life Happens

She said, “one day I will be a wife, a mother”.

She would usually dream that when that day comes she would know it instantly. Nothing magical nor legendary, nothing like a fairy tale of that sort. Her husband may not be one of the most handsome as long as she wakes up feeling happy, untiringly looking at his face every morning. With the kids around, she would always have a fully booked schedule. A predictable life of simplicity and peace.

One day, life happens.

She met someone. She refused but with a single splash of fate, they dated and got along pretty well. Every second with him was magic and every day was a legend of love’s mysteries. He described vividly the details of their first meeting, he confessed, “the first time I saw you, I literally knew I finally found my wife” – it was her. Looking amazed of how great knowledge this man has that he immediately deciphered the signs and solved the puzzle, she was left in awe.

She realized that sometimes love is so confusing. The other knew exactly the meaning of the signs while she was left in ignorance of what the signs meant. When they looked at their lives backwards, they can only see the spaces they left blank. The times she was not sure of her feelings, the time they both wasted – HIM not fighting harder for her to realize their fate sooner and HER fighting harder to be far away from him.

For others, it was the story of a love that brings inspiration on their own life. A reflection of hope in finding TRUE LOVE. Sometimes I feel that this love story was created to be short-lived as it was perfectly written by the hands of God and that ones the two souls separate, the magic will continue to shower to the whole of the earth.

For them, the power of love that runs through their veins signifies the union of two souls, who, after years of search and delays have finally come into terms. The same power that have brought overflowing joy, abundant blessings and a significant amount of selflessness in their lives. They knew that they were each others happiness and never imagined a life without the other from then on. They have so much love to give to each other it can fill their lifetime.

Then one day, life happens again.

He had to leave unexpectedly. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine a life without him. They form part of each others happiness. She was lost. Dreadfully lost. That second he left was the same moment her future was taken. Time was running so fast that she cannot catch up. Once again, she was left in awe. The same man who brought her so much happiness is now giving her unbearable sadness.

A part of her died the same time her husband left. As she tries to hold all the memories she could in her mind, she is crushed. She was so afraid that one day all these memories will become vague and that the only connection she has with her husband will soon fade.

She felt pain every heartbeat. A pain that creates an invisible hole in her heart that grows bigger every time she breathes. It was unfair. They, who have given out so much love to the world, were destined to be punished by separation. She often wondered why each day the pain becomes bearable even though the void continues to grow. She was sad because she thought she is moving on. She was afraid that along with moving on, the memories will be gone forever.

Years have passed but she still thinks  of him often, the memories left was clearer than ever as if it happened just yesterday. Even though she worries everyday that the memories will someday fade, she tries her very best to cherish every memory left. The way he looks at her, the way he kisses her, the way he sits on his chair on their old place

For her, this is life re-imagined. A new one. Without her husband.

Later on she realized that the memories will stay though she is not sure until when. It was after all part of her as much as a part of him. Each day is more bearable because the pain and longing have already become part of her. Her mind and body have finally let them in. Tears washes the longing from the heart.

Sometimes losing the one you love, the person you never imagined leaving you, will force you to restructure the life you imagined, the comfortable life you planned.

As their story ends, she didn’t get to create the family she so long wanted and there will be no chance for them to make it. She continue to live her life no matter how empty she feels her heart is. She chose the path where she would fight harder every single day for life to give her the love she deserves, she will never give up. She gets the strength from the love left by her soulmate that will fill her until she finds the NEW LOVE she so long deserve.

Reimagining Life

I was watching this video of Chris Gardner about Life Reimagined. Yep. He is the man behind the true story of the movie Pursuit of Happyness.  It was an inspiring movie and indeed became my instant favorite among many others. So I did my research of what the real Chris Gardner really like.

He became an inspirational speaker and aids the homeless in America by creating foundations that may somehow lift the plight of his fellow struggling people.

Here are some notes I got from his one-hour talk that seriously have tickled my interest to listen from start to finish.

  • How did I get here? the drastic change in his life was when he found himself living with his 2 year old son in the bathroom of a train station. He realized he cannot blame anyone from his misfortunes. He said, “I have something to do here”.
    • Acceptance. It will free us from imprisonment to our current situation. Let us not spend our whole life blaming others why we got here. It was our actions, in the first place, that brought us here.
    • No one will accept your life except you.
    • “You cannot change something until you own it.” Once we accepted our shortcomings, change will start. Most of the time we call it “miracle”.
    • “I drove here. But you know, if I drove here, I can get out of here.”
  • What are you going to do? he felt he has a mission in this world. He knew he can do something to get out from his situation. So, he took action.
    • The moment, whether we like it or not, wherein we re-imagine our life. See yourself as someone who has a role to play in the world.
    • You are a unique human being so, make the most out of the talent the good Lord have given you.

I liked the part when he talked about soulmates. I connected with him there. I believe in one. He is right. He knew that his first wife was his soulmate. I may read his mind and say that if his soulmate hadn’t died, he would have had a completely different but perfect life. But there is nothing perfect in this world. That was the start of re-imagining his life.

  • Losing someone you love is the hardest “re-imagining life” that could ever be. “When you lose a loved one, you re-evaluate everything. You can lose a house, get a new house. You lose your job, find a new job. You lose money, make money. But when you lose someone you love, it’s irreplaceable – you cannot make time. Time is the ultimate luxury.” – I super agree.
  • You become more aware of the quality of your life. Whether you like it or not, you have to perceive yourself on a different light.
  • “Life is a stretch of road with no maps, no road signs and no gps. There is a fork on this road; one is scared and don’t know what to do and the other is scared but I’m stepping out of it.” There are still choices though we feel there is none. Sometimes we just need to take a short break to get to the next chapter.
  • From it all, we need external validation from people who believe in us. We are humans anyway we were raised to be mingling with others. Family and true friends are very important materials in the fulfillment of our role.

Although there are a lot more of the inspiring things he discussed, these are some of my pointers that somehow, connected in me. On how I perceive my life.

“Walk that walk and go forward all the time. Don’t just talk that talk, walk it and go forward. Also, the walk didn’t have to be long strides; baby steps counted too. Go forward.” Chris Gardner

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnLk5772XRg