I come to You again carrying the same feeling as to when I was asking You if I should marry a guy.
I did not hear You.
I come to You again carrying the same feeling. The same feeling of having to wait in vain. Because I did not hear You.
Does this mean for the second time around, it’s all gonna be me who’s going to make the biggest decision?
Both paths lead to somewhere else to which I do not know. Both paths, the one I choose and the one I will leave behind.
If you are given two choices – allow your life to change big time or be alone for the rest of your life.
Which one will it be?
“Even a broken clock is right two times a day. But this is not one of those times.” Lumiere of Beauty and the Beast
This quote was stuck in my head after watching the classic fairytale, Beauty and the Beast. It was spoken by Lumiere, the cursed candle light.
Did my ears catch it because it is relevant into my life’s current happenings? No. It was stuck inside my head for a simple reason – my brains wanted to play this kind of interpreting double meaning phrases like that quote above. Yes, this tiny muscle in my head is probably bored while I was in the movie house.
But seriously, nothing is a mistake in life. May it be a good or bad experience, it forms part of the plot for what’s in store in the future.
Like the pain you feel when you are broken hearted. Or like when Belle’s father got lost in the forest and got imprisoned by the beast. Everything in this world is planned. Even in the bible it says there, God knows when the leaves will fall out of the tree or even the number of the strands of our hair, He knows so well.
And so the story has now ended.
It took her a while to free herself from the hole she created. She enjoyed it there for a time. She thought she might stay there for a few more moments.
This hole brings out the love that was burning in her eager to get out.
She felt love. She felt happiness once again.
Her memories of forever now includes this chapter.
No regrets, she told herself. Only lessons learned.
No heartaches, only love that needs to be spoken.
“Be open to everything yet attached to nothing.” Buddha
We cannot avoid the feeling of attachment. Once we start to get used to things, once we setup routines the more we get to be attached. The harder it is for us to remove ourselves in the picture.
And that overcoming attachments is simple to say but hard to take into action.
I like what the Buddhists call non-attachment. As everything in this world is temporary, and that these things, events or people will eventually come to its end.
Once they have fulfilled their purpose in your life, they will leave. And the hard truth is you have to let them because if you don’t, it will only cause you unending cycle of pain and suffering.
Acceptance is the key. Because if you do, it will liberate you and you will never realize that you have surpassed the test and moved on to the next level.
Let go of the attachments but take note of the lessons it brought as these lessons will be of great use in your future.
“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” Dalai Lama
It sometimes is so hard for me to visit you, my love.
Because everytime I walk this long path to you, the burden in my heart doubles.
Because everytime I buy you flowers, makes me angry for you leaving me.
Because everytime I see you, makes me realize the reality that you are never going back.
And that in reality I am mad at you for leaving to a place you know I can never follow.
But most of the time I am sad for knowing that I will never see you anymore even in my dreams that once was better than reality.
When you feel that it is time, then let it go. There is no other way moving forward but to let go of the rope that connects both of you.
It probably is the fate of the friendship after all. A pure and innocent one. A relationship who enjoys a cup of coffee in the morning and closes the day with another by the sunset to perfect the picture.
The line has been crossed. The one to which both of you dared not touch – but you did. You both did. So no one is to blame.
Just as anything is meant to happen, that moment will of course form part of my bank of memories as whatever it is we call, was special.
And now, the chapter with you is already finished. I have to say that it was a cool and relaxed trip that you can always read back through with a cup of coffee on the side.