Rush Hour

As I squeeze myself inside the crowd and find myself a comfortable seat, I couldn’t help but overhear a boy with his little sister and mother also trying to fit inside the bus.

Luckily, someone was kind enough to offer a seat to the mother and the sister but not for the little boy.

As he complained for almost half the trip saying that his feet are so tired to stand up and that he’s so sleepy. I couldn’t blame him as he is telling the truth. It is indeed a long traffic jam on a rush hour.

As we pass along the stretch of España Blvd. with the universities and schools on the view, the boy said, “gusto ko mag-aral dyan mama paglaki ko!”. His mom just smirked and said, “hmp, ang mahal, mahal dyan”.

And the rest of the trip the little boy continuously complain.

It’s just so nice to hear such innocent words from children. With their innocence come sincerity and our old dreams. As adults we are so overwhelmed with making money in order to live and we forget the kid screaming and knocking in our hearts, as if wanted to remind us of our forgotten dreams and simple wishes.

The Unexpected Message

*my heartfelt experience on visiting the Manaoag church.


“Minsan ang hinahanap nating sagot sa ating mga katanungan ay nasa sarili lang natin.”

We arrived in the famous church during the mid of the day with the extreme heat of the sun causing us to feel uncomfortable.

As we walked to the path going inside the church where a Eucharist is being celebrated, just before I took my first step in the doors of the church, the first few words I heard from the priest’s homily was that phrase.

That’s a message right there. It could be for me but it could also be a message for the other hundred devotees visiting the church.

I may not know what that meant in my life right now or it could be that, that is the question my soul have been asking me all along.

What I feel was that someone up there was expecting my visit. He has everything prepared for me as I was unexpectedly blessed by the holy water not only once but on three occasions. Although I am not really the religious type, it is not really my body communing with Him during that whole experience, but my soul. This is one of the mysteries of the universe that the body do not need to understand.

Meantime, I asked my friend to buy me 3 white candles since she is already in the line. I have not told her the reason behind the 3 white candles until she already bought different shapes of candle. I told her later on that I want to offer it to my husband, my father and my uncle, who died recently.

I did not realize until she told me that the shapes she chose is just right for me. She gave me a heart and 2 leaf-shaped candles. The heart is for my dear husband and the 2 leafs are for my father and uncle which means that the heart-shaped candle is for the love of my life and the 2 leaf-shaped candles are for my blood family. 

I longed to relieve my body with all the stress brought by the busy metro but later did I know that it was my soul that was screaming for balance.

I will definitely go back to Manaoag church. I don’t know what is, but there is something in that place that connects my soul that even my friend shared the same feeling.

Too Late

Kindness is so rare these days that people misinterpret it as flirting.

And I am one of those people who misunderstood it.

When I felt no one cared for me, he offered his friendship.

When I felt love have gone far from me, he made me feel special.

How could I ever feel that he is just taking advantage of my weakness when all this time he just wanted to help.

He sees in me a sister, a close friend. But now he is gone. Without any news from him.

I miss him.

All up to You

I come to You again carrying the same feeling as to when I was asking You if I should marry a guy.

I did not hear You.

I come to You again carrying the same feeling. The same feeling of having to wait in vain. Because I did not hear You.

Does this mean for the second time around, it’s all gonna be me who’s going to make the biggest decision?

Free will.

Both paths lead to somewhere else to which I do not know. Both paths, the one I choose and the one I will leave behind.

From Lumiere’s words (B&B)

“Even a broken clock is right two times a day. But this is not one of those times.” Lumiere of Beauty and the Beast

This quote was stuck in my head after watching the classic fairytale, Beauty and the Beast. It was spoken by Lumiere, the cursed candle light.

Did my ears catch it because it is relevant into my life’s current happenings? No. It was stuck inside my head for a simple reason – my brains wanted to play this kind of interpreting double meaning phrases like that quote above. Yes, this tiny muscle in my head is probably bored while I was in the movie house.

But seriously, nothing is a mistake in life. May it be a good or bad experience, it forms part of the plot for what’s in store in the future.

Like the pain you feel when you are broken hearted. Or like when Belle’s father got lost in the forest and got imprisoned by the beast. Everything in this world is planned. Even in the bible it says there, God knows when the leaves will fall out of the tree or even the number of the strands of our hair, He knows so well.

The End of the Story

And so the story has now ended.

Finally.

It took her a while to free herself from the hole she created. She enjoyed it there for a time. She thought she might stay there for a few more moments.

This hole brings out the love that was burning in her eager to get out.

She felt love. She felt happiness once again.

Her memories of forever now includes this chapter.

No regrets, she told herself. Only lessons learned.

No heartaches, only love that needs to be spoken.