The Unexpected Message

*my heartfelt experience on visiting the Manaoag church.


“Minsan ang hinahanap nating sagot sa ating mga katanungan ay nasa sarili lang natin.”

We arrived in the famous church during the mid of the day with the extreme heat of the sun causing us to feel uncomfortable.

As we walked to the path going inside the church where a Eucharist is being celebrated, just before I took my first step in the doors of the church, the first few words I heard from the priest’s homily was that phrase.

That’s a message right there. It could be for me but it could also be a message for the other hundred devotees visiting the church.

I may not know what that meant in my life right now or it could be that, that is the question my soul have been asking me all along.

What I feel was that someone up there was expecting my visit. He has everything prepared for me as I was unexpectedly blessed by the holy water not only once but on three occasions. Although I am not really the religious type, it is not really my body communing with Him during that whole experience, but my soul. This is one of the mysteries of the universe that the body do not need to understand.

Meantime, I asked my friend to buy me 3 white candles since she is already in the line. I have not told her the reason behind the 3 white candles until she already bought different shapes of candle. I told her later on that I want to offer it to my husband, my father and my uncle, who died recently.

I did not realize until she told me that the shapes she chose is just right for me. She gave me a heart and 2 leaf-shaped candles. The heart is for my dear husband and the 2 leafs are for my father and uncle which means that the heart-shaped candle is for the love of my life and the 2 leaf-shaped candles are for my blood family. 

I longed to relieve my body with all the stress brought by the busy metro but later did I know that it was my soul that was screaming for balance.

I will definitely go back to Manaoag church. I don’t know what is, but there is something in that place that connects my soul that even my friend shared the same feeling.

Too Late

Kindness is so rare these days that people misinterpret it as flirting.

And I am one of those people who misunderstood it.

When I felt no one cared for me, he offered his friendship.

When I felt love have gone far from me, he made me feel special.

How could I ever feel that he is just taking advantage of my weakness when all this time he just wanted to help.

He sees in me a sister, a close friend. But now he is gone. Without any news from him.

I miss him.

All up to You

I come to You again carrying the same feeling as to when I was asking You if I should marry a guy.

I did not hear You.

I come to You again carrying the same feeling. The same feeling of having to wait in vain. Because I did not hear You.

Does this mean for the second time around, it’s all gonna be me who’s going to make the biggest decision?

Free will.

Both paths lead to somewhere else to which I do not know. Both paths, the one I choose and the one I will leave behind.

From Lumiere’s words (B&B)

“Even a broken clock is right two times a day. But this is not one of those times.” Lumiere of Beauty and the Beast

This quote was stuck in my head after watching the classic fairytale, Beauty and the Beast. It was spoken by Lumiere, the cursed candle light.

Did my ears catch it because it is relevant into my life’s current happenings? No. It was stuck inside my head for a simple reason – my brains wanted to play this kind of interpreting double meaning phrases like that quote above. Yes, this tiny muscle in my head is probably bored while I was in the movie house.

But seriously, nothing is a mistake in life. May it be a good or bad experience, it forms part of the plot for what’s in store in the future.

Like the pain you feel when you are broken hearted. Or like when Belle’s father got lost in the forest and got imprisoned by the beast. Everything in this world is planned. Even in the bible it says there, God knows when the leaves will fall out of the tree or even the number of the strands of our hair, He knows so well.

The End of the Story

And so the story has now ended.

Finally.

It took her a while to free herself from the hole she created. She enjoyed it there for a time. She thought she might stay there for a few more moments.

This hole brings out the love that was burning in her eager to get out.

She felt love. She felt happiness once again.

Her memories of forever now includes this chapter.

No regrets, she told herself. Only lessons learned.

No heartaches, only love that needs to be spoken.

Overcoming Attachments

“Be open to everything yet attached to nothing.” Buddha

We cannot avoid the feeling of attachment. Once we start to get used to things, once we setup routines the more we get to be attached. The harder it is for us to remove ourselves in the picture.

And that overcoming attachments is simple to say but hard to take into action.

I like what the Buddhists call non-attachment. As everything in this world is temporary, and that these things, events or people will eventually come to its end. 

Once they have fulfilled their purpose in your life, they will leave. And the hard truth is you have to let them because if you don’t, it will only cause you unending cycle of pain and suffering.

Acceptance is the key. Because if you do, it will liberate you and you will never realize that you have surpassed the test and moved on to the next level.

Let go of the attachments but take note of the lessons it brought as these lessons will be of great use in your future.

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” Dalai Lama