Rush Hour

As I squeeze myself inside the crowd and find myself a comfortable seat, I couldn’t help but overhear a boy with his little sister and mother also trying to fit inside the bus.

Luckily, someone was kind enough to offer a seat to the mother and the sister but not for the little boy.

As he complained for almost half the trip saying that his feet are so tired to stand up and that he’s so sleepy. I couldn’t blame him as he is telling the truth. It is indeed a long traffic jam on a rush hour.

As we pass along the stretch of España Blvd. with the universities and schools on the view, the boy said, “gusto ko mag-aral dyan mama paglaki ko!”. His mom just smirked and said, “hmp, ang mahal, mahal dyan”.

And the rest of the trip the little boy continuously complain.

It’s just so nice to hear such innocent words from children. With their innocence come sincerity and our old dreams. As adults we are so overwhelmed with making money in order to live and we forget the kid screaming and knocking in our hearts, as if wanted to remind us of our forgotten dreams and simple wishes.

From Lumiere’s words (B&B)

“Even a broken clock is right two times a day. But this is not one of those times.” Lumiere of Beauty and the Beast

This quote was stuck in my head after watching the classic fairytale, Beauty and the Beast. It was spoken by Lumiere, the cursed candle light.

Did my ears catch it because it is relevant into my life’s current happenings? No. It was stuck inside my head for a simple reason – my brains wanted to play this kind of interpreting double meaning phrases like that quote above. Yes, this tiny muscle in my head is probably bored while I was in the movie house.

But seriously, nothing is a mistake in life. May it be a good or bad experience, it forms part of the plot for what’s in store in the future.

Like the pain you feel when you are broken hearted. Or like when Belle’s father got lost in the forest and got imprisoned by the beast. Everything in this world is planned. Even in the bible it says there, God knows when the leaves will fall out of the tree or even the number of the strands of our hair, He knows so well.

The Story of Longing

You might think that the worst had passed for me.

And that I am already living the best that life can offer. But as the months, years and days pass the longing and wanting keeps on growing inside.

Behind this funny face and hilarious humor I can play is the other side of me that I dont want people to see.

That every smile I give out to everyone is creating a hole in my heart. The truth that this happiness will never be seen by you. 

Not a chance. Not in this lifetime.

That each story I tell everyone is equal to my heart’s desire to tell to it to only you.

That every blink my eyes make, is my heart’s wish to bring you back.

But reality is always there forever checking if I have started to stand up again. I wish that time will come where life and me will realize that they should actually best friends.

This exactly

Kung puwede lang sana I had five more days, five more years… five more lifetimes with him”; “You may have loved him longer but that doesn’t mean I loved him less”;

“Ayoko, kasi masyado mo akong pinapasaya nakakalimutan ko siya”;

“Ang haba pa ng buhay ko but I’d already lost that one person worth living for”;

“Pagod na kong maging malungkot, ang hirap namang maging masaya kasi nananakit ka ng ibang tao”

Gusto ko magmahal ulit pero paano ko gagawin ‘yun kung sa puso ko buhay na buhay ka pa.”

Movie: And I Love You So

Never Settle for Anything Less

Love someone because of love and not because of any other reason.

I married my husband after all the questions has been answered. I married him after all doubt has been taken off the list and my love for him is the only thing left in my heart and mind. I took my time. Well, we both took our time. We let our feelings mature in the right direction. We didn’t rush into things just because we were so in love. People around us thought that we are not that head over heels for each other since they don’t see how mushy we are to each other. But we didn’t mind, what matters is what we feel and how we shower each other with our undying love and devotion. We did not make “being so in love” as an excuse to decide to get married right away. There is always a right time for everything, so if you rush, it would mean that you are running ahead of that perfect timing God set-up for you.

Feelings are like the stages in a product cycle, there is the introduction, growth, maturity and the decline. So does it mean that love, after marriage, will reach the point of decline? I’m not sure, but most people say they do and that is the importance of having a strong foundation of friendship while in the first three stages. Make sure that the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with is the person whom you can stand even at his worst. Never settle for anything less, just because they are available doesn’t mean that they are God sent. They may be brought in front of you but for another purpose. Sometimes, we also need to study the signs not jump into it in the nick of time. This is one of the causes of divorce, not really knowing each other and when trials come, couples fall apart.

Most people also say that love is a matter of choice and not by chance. I would like to believe that it’s true since it is us who decide (choose) to stay with that person, it is not by chance that you stayed with that person. If there is a decision to be made, there are options to choose from. You meet a person randomly and you click — that is chance, you decide to let a person into your life — that is choice.

Some say that the heart can be taught. You can teach your heart to like or hate a person. The most important thing is that you never play with others feelings. Stay true to yourself and honest to others. If the shoe doesn’t fit, be brave enough to tell the truth and walk away. Once you do, never regret. Once a decision has been made, stand by it no matter how hard it is.

There is no easy way in getting through life, just as in getting a perfect relationship. It takes lots of hard-work and team work to make things work.

One of the many best things I admired about my husband is that he is willing to support me. I can see that he is not happy if I am not growing my own path. I have found a perfect man indeed. Oh well, he is JUST my soulmate — we found each other by chance and we made a choice to be together forever — sealed it with a promise in front of God. But then again maybe we have already fulfilled our love this lifetime, that is why he was already called back.

Our relationship is the independent type. We value each others privacy through trust. At the start of the relationship we agreed that there will be times that we need our “me” time. As we will now be together for the rest of our lives, we decided that there will definitely be boring times, and the me times and having that agreement makes our relationship stronger. We have so many topics to share and humors to throw at that boring time never arrived. And that short second of our me time, even if we are on the same room, makes us miss each other so much that we are so impatient to hold each other again.

Come to think of it today, this may also be one of the reasons why I managed to get through the darkest times of his loss — our independence. Despite our being together as couple, we still have our own life to live. It did not for a bit lessen our love for each other. In fact, it was the other way around, we grew fonder of each other. We are, in fact, still two souls living the earth, walking the same direction and that when the other left, I am still whole. It may not be about my bravery after losing a loved one, it is about having to continue living my life. We both did not believe in a relationship where one is succeeding while the other is contented waiting for his other half to come home and talk about his day. That may work for other couples, but for us, being the unique us, we believed in empowering each other and supporting each others chosen endeavor.

And that when talking about love, it is the soul who felt our overflowing love. And even though the love I’ve given was taken along by him, I still have the love he gave me and that is I believe that keeps me from breaking.

Breathless

It would seem like a normal lack of air..
You try to breath in once again

Then you realize this is not it.
This is not a simple thing.

Then as you try to remove that person playing games in your head,
Slowly it transforms into heartache.

Yes. This is not a simple case of lacking air in your lungs.
It is a huge probability of jealousy.

When you are just starting to enjoy the feeling. When you are just starting to enjoy the “i miss you’s” … he left you broken again.