My Wish

I wish you to hug me so tight even just for a day. As in your arms I am moved to a world where all the pain and sadness brought by your loss will finally melt away.

I wish to kiss you one last time. As when I kiss you it would mean the world as I know it ends. All the tears that flowed for years would finally meet its rightful owner.

I wish for us to finally be together and that eternity would become our world. I would, for any chance, trade an hour of my life just to be with you again.

I miss you everyday min skat.

20 Lessons from “Veronika Decides to Die”

by Paulo Coelho

  1. Absurd though it may seem, I think that was the happiest time of her life. She was fighting for something; she felt alive and capable of responding to the challenges facing her.
  2. No one can judge. Each person knows the extent of their own suffering or the total absence of meaning in their lives.
  3. Two or three years later, another woman will appear in his life. I’ll find out – because I saw them or because someone told me – but this time I’ll pretend I don’t know. I used up all my energy fighting against that other lover; I’ve no energy left; it’s best to accept life as it really is and not as I imagined it to be. My mother was right.
  4. Noticed that a lot of people she knew would talk about the horrors in other people’s lives as if they were genuinely trying to help them, but the truth was that they took pleasure in the suffering of others, because that made them believe they were happy and that life had been generous with them.
  5. I want to continue being crazy, living my life the way I dream it, and not the way other people want it to be.
  6. She was confused, tensed, irritated with herself. She had never allowed herself to be provoked; she had learned early that whenever a new situation presented itself, you had to remain cool and and distant.
  7. If I had a choice, if I had understood earlier that the reason my days were all the same was because I wanted them like that, perhaps… there’s no perhaps, because there is no choice.
  8. What makes a person hate themselves? Cowardice, perhaps. Or the eternal fear of being wrong, of not doing what others expect. A few moments ago I was happy, I forgot I was under sentence of death; then, when I remembered the situation I’m in, I felt frightened.
  9. Because there is always a gap between intention and action, and she wanted to feel free to turn back halfway.
  10. You have passed through the two hardest tests on the spiritual road: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what you encounter. It is you I will teach.
  11. You have two choices: to control your mind or to let your mind control you. Don’t confuse insanity with a loss of control.
  12. Certain people, in their eagerness to construct a world no external threat can penetrate, build exaggeratedly high defenses against the outside world, against new people, new places, different experiences, and leave their inner world stripped bare. It is there that bitterness begins its irrevocable work.
  13. She had always spent her life waiting for something.
  14. She is not going to stop something which gives her pleasure just to be nice to a complete stranger. If she should react badly, you’ll never have another chance to approach her.
  15. Veronika assumed an ironic air, smiled, turned and moved off so that no one would notice that her eyes were filling with tears.
  16. She had never allowed herself to be provoked.
    She needed to get back to the person she used to be, someone able to respond with irony, to pretend that insults didn’t bother her because she was better than all of them.
  17. A person like everyone else in the world needed other people in order to be happy.
  18. Veronika had always hated goodbyes.
  19. Stay mad, but behave like normal people. Run the risk of being different, but learn to do so without attracting attention.
  20. Don’t be embarrassed about being loved. I am not asking you for anything.

20 Lessons from “The Devil and Miss Prym”

by Paulo Coelho

A fictional novel of temptation.

  1. I discovered that confronted by temptation, we will always fall. Given the right circumstances, every human being on this earth would be willing to commit evil.
  2. There were two things that prevent us from achieving our dreams: believing them to be impossible or seeing those dreams made possible by some sudden turn of the wheel of fortune, when you least expected it.
  3. All our fears suddenly surface: the fear of setting off along a road heading who knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, the fear of losing forever everything that is familiar.
  4. She was convinced that the stranger must now be tired of her silence and that shortly – perhaps that very afternoon – he would decide to choose someone else. But she was too cowardly to change her fate.
  5. So you see, Good and Evil have the same face; it all depends on when they cross the path of each individual human being.
  6. I spend the whole day looking at nature. Some people think it’s a waste of time, but it was the only way I could find to accept the loss of someone I loved very much.
  7. I’ve just taught you the most important lesson in life, whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.
  8. In order to struggle with yourself, you needed to get to know me better. I am a man who walks the earth with a devil at his side; in order to drive him away or to accept him once and for all, I need to know the answers to certain questions.
  9. There was terror in each and every one of the people. Terror of being alone, terror of the darkness filling their imaginations with devils, terror of doing anything not in the manuals of good behavior, terror of God’s judgment, of what other people would say, terror of loving and being rejected.
  10. Terror of going somewhere new, of not being able to speak a foreign language, of not making the right impression, of growing old, of dying.
  11. When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.
  12. Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.
  13. In the first place, you shouldn’t believe in promises. The world is full of them: the promises of riches, of eternal salvation, of infinite love. Some people think they can promise anything, others accept whatever seems to guarantee better days ahead, as, I suspect is your case. Those who make promises they don’t keep end up powerless and frustrated, and exactly the fate awaits those who believe promises.
  14. People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all to remain the same.
  15. Her heart had already been broken many times over, and yet she still believed she was destined to meet the man of her life.
  16. It was all a matter of control. And Choice.
    Nothing more, nothing less
  17. Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time.
  18. Everyone had their own theory about everything, and they believed that their truth was the only one that mattered. They spent days, nights, weeks and years talking, never accepting the fact that good or bad, an idea only exists when someone tries to put it into practice.
  19. Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time.
  20. In the first place, you shouldn’t believe in promises. The world is full of them: the promises of riches, of eternal salvation, of infinite love. Some people think they can promise anything, others accept whatever seems to guarantee better days ahead, as, I suspect is your case. Those who make promises they don’t keep end up powerless and frustrated, and exactly the fate awaits those who believe promises.

The Perfect Man

You will always be the perfect man for an imperfect woman like me.

When will you come around again?

I miss you so much that most of the timeĀ I almost died.

Hoping to stay where you are, for good and for once cease staring at the clouds. I’m tired.

I look up, I don’t really see you. It is my heart that creates the illusion that somewhere out there you are looking back at me.

I miss you (so much) my love.

Full Measure of Happiness

-excerpt from my husband’s love letter in our notebook.

“I will protect and provide for you and our family as best as I can.

I will be your friend in need and in joy.

Your shoulder to cry on,

your passionate lover,

your sparring partner and a true and honest man.

I pray this will give you the full measure of happiness throughout your life that I so dearly wish for you.

You will always have my undying love and devotion – body and soul. “

My Ivory Tower

Where’s your favorite place, may I ask?

It may sound morbid but, the place where my one and only love was buried.

He’s grave.

I dont know why but, it is the only place where my feet takes me everytime I needed a break from all these.

When life feels too much for me, I find myself there.

When I needed to take a good view of life, it is there.

My ivory tower. My place of solitude.

Where the grass and trees are all too friendly to me that I can open up all these hidden emotions.

Where no one will judge why my heart haven’t moved on yet when its already been years.

And I do not have to pretend.

Where the wind touches my cheeks and the sun peeks in my eyes as if telling me that the fight is far from over and reminding me I haven’t given up yet – and that I am on the right track.

The place where a part of my heart was buried.

The place where time stops and looking at nowhere is never a sin.

The place where I can, for a few minutes, be with my beloved.

My heart’s final resting place. My home.