Never Settle for Anything Less

Love someone because of love and not because of any other reason.

I married my husband after all the questions has been answered. I married him after all doubt has been taken off the list and my love for him is the only thing left in my heart and mind. I took my time. Well, we both took our time. We let our feelings mature in the right direction. We didn’t rush into things just because we were so in love. People around us thought that we are not that head over heels for each other since they don’t see how mushy we are to each other. But we didn’t mind, what matters is what we feel and how we shower each other with our undying love and devotion. We did not make “being so in love” as an excuse to decide to get married right away. There is always a right time for everything, so if you rush, it would mean that you are running ahead of that perfect timing God set-up for you.

Feelings are like the stages in a product cycle, there is the introduction, growth, maturity and the decline. So does it mean that love, after marriage, will reach the point of decline? I’m not sure, but most people say they do and that is the importance of having a strong foundation of friendship while in the first three stages. Make sure that the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with is the person whom you can stand even at his worst. Never settle for anything less, just because they are available doesn’t mean that they are God sent. They may be brought in front of you but for another purpose. Sometimes, we also need to study the signs not jump into it in the nick of time. This is one of the causes of divorce, not really knowing each other and when trials come, couples fall apart.

Most people also say that love is a matter of choice and not by chance. I would like to believe that it’s true since it is us who decide (choose) to stay with that person, it is not by chance that you stayed with that person. If there is a decision to be made, there are options to choose from. You meet a person randomly and you click — that is chance, you decide to let a person into your life — that is choice.

Some say that the heart can be taught. You can teach your heart to like or hate a person. The most important thing is that you never play with others feelings. Stay true to yourself and honest to others. If the shoe doesn’t fit, be brave enough to tell the truth and walk away. Once you do, never regret. Once a decision has been made, stand by it no matter how hard it is.

There is no easy way in getting through life, just as in getting a perfect relationship. It takes lots of hard-work and team work to make things work.

One of the many best things I admired about my husband is that he is willing to support me. I can see that he is not happy if I am not growing my own path. I have found a perfect man indeed. Oh well, he is JUST my soulmate — we found each other by chance and we made a choice to be together forever — sealed it with a promise in front of God. But then again maybe we have already fulfilled our love this lifetime, that is why he was already called back.

Our relationship is the independent type. We value each others privacy through trust. At the start of the relationship we agreed that there will be times that we need our “me” time. As we will now be together for the rest of our lives, we decided that there will definitely be boring times, and the me times and having that agreement makes our relationship stronger. We have so many topics to share and humors to throw at that boring time never arrived. And that short second of our me time, even if we are on the same room, makes us miss each other so much that we are so impatient to hold each other again.

Come to think of it today, this may also be one of the reasons why I managed to get through the darkest times of his loss — our independence. Despite our being together as couple, we still have our own life to live. It did not for a bit lessen our love for each other. In fact, it was the other way around, we grew fonder of each other. We are, in fact, still two souls living the earth, walking the same direction and that when the other left, I am still whole. It may not be about my bravery after losing a loved one, it is about having to continue living my life. We both did not believe in a relationship where one is succeeding while the other is contented waiting for his other half to come home and talk about his day. That may work for other couples, but for us, being the unique us, we believed in empowering each other and supporting each others chosen endeavor.

And that when talking about love, it is the soul who felt our overflowing love. And even though the love I’ve given was taken along by him, I still have the love he gave me and that is I believe that keeps me from breaking.

Author: QUEENIE

Life has an interesting way of telling me that I am a special chocolate chip cookie baked personally by the hands of God (well, just as everyone of us!). I am loving the challenges. A widow at a young age yet keeping a positive view of the future. Still a believer of magic, fate and true love, taking each day one small step at a time. I have a grand dream! ;-)

5 thoughts on “Never Settle for Anything Less”

  1. How true. Me and my husband have very different personality but one thing which is common is we are madly in love with each other and that’s why we completed 9yrs of our married life happily.

    1. Thank you for sharing. Tough times will always be there. Sad to say that it will not go away soon. It will be your constant companion. What I learned from my experience are:
      1. Accept the unbearable and darkest times as well as the short duration of “happy times” after the loss. It will pass just as our troubles in life. If you want to cry — cry. Watch sad movies if you want to, or listen to music that reminds you of the loss. Surround yourself with friends, though sadness will be back in the middle of the night (when friends are gone and you are all alone), at least during the day you shared smiles and happy stories.
      2. Each day, take one small step at a time. When sadness leaves (as it will normally do), be prepared for its next arrival. When sadness takes a rest, it is your time to renew your strength for the battle.
      3. Slowly through time, the feeling of loss will be there but it will become more bearable. The sad feeling will become part of your life and you will feel as if it is a distant friend.
      I hope my short note will somehow help you. Take care.

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