Motivating Yourself

It may seem like that the last string has been pulled or the final battle has been concluded, as we slowly close ourselves to the world, we miss out to see what is left after the battle, what happens after the last string has been pulled out. This is what we call life.

Challenges and heart aches are what forms the beauty of life. It is our molder, this is God’s oven. While we feel others are fortunately poured with all the good things life can offer, we pity ourselves from being scarce. We feel inferior of our abilities, we lose touch of our dreams — the dreams we had when we were a kid. Then we continue to move on with life not knowing what we want, threading the path we never had the slightest idea of what is in the end.

We lack motivation. Can we buy it? Instead of waiting for motivators to come your way, learn how to motivate yourself. In fact, no one will push you to get up in the morning and brush your hair or take you to shower, there is only yourself. Each one is busy fulfilling their own mission. Friends and family may be there to support you but if there is no willingness from inside to get up and dress up — what they say will not matter. We hold the key in our hands. The key to push through or to give up.

Our self is our worst enemy and the people around are the audience. So take a risk. Never mind what people think of you, anyway, they only see the tip of the iceberg. Eat alone. Go to a mall, take a stroll by yourself. Yourself can also be your best companion. It works both ways, depends on how you treat it. Remember, you are not a celebrity or a politician. People will not judge you when you walk or just sit alone in a cafe. It is all in the mind and the mind is the one controlling our thinking, our self-esteem, our motivation.

Be proud of yourself and trust that yesterday’s struggles are only a distant memory while realizing that the only person that can give light to a dark path is yourself.

Never Settle for Anything Less

Love someone because of love and not because of any other reason.

I married my husband after all the questions has been answered. I married him after all doubt has been taken off the list and my love for him is the only thing left in my heart and mind. I took my time. Well, we both took our time. We let our feelings mature in the right direction. We didn’t rush into things just because we were so in love. People around us thought that we are not that head over heels for each other since they don’t see how mushy we are to each other. But we didn’t mind, what matters is what we feel and how we shower each other with our undying love and devotion. We did not make “being so in love” as an excuse to decide to get married right away. There is always a right time for everything, so if you rush, it would mean that you are running ahead of that perfect timing God set-up for you.

Feelings are like the stages in a product cycle, there is the introduction, growth, maturity and the decline. So does it mean that love, after marriage, will reach the point of decline? I’m not sure, but most people say they do and that is the importance of having a strong foundation of friendship while in the first three stages. Make sure that the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with is the person whom you can stand even at his worst. Never settle for anything less, just because they are available doesn’t mean that they are God sent. They may be brought in front of you but for another purpose. Sometimes, we also need to study the signs not jump into it in the nick of time. This is one of the causes of divorce, not really knowing each other and when trials come, couples fall apart.

Most people also say that love is a matter of choice and not by chance. I would like to believe that it’s true since it is us who decide (choose) to stay with that person, it is not by chance that you stayed with that person. If there is a decision to be made, there are options to choose from. You meet a person randomly and you click — that is chance, you decide to let a person into your life — that is choice.

Some say that the heart can be taught. You can teach your heart to like or hate a person. The most important thing is that you never play with others feelings. Stay true to yourself and honest to others. If the shoe doesn’t fit, be brave enough to tell the truth and walk away. Once you do, never regret. Once a decision has been made, stand by it no matter how hard it is.

There is no easy way in getting through life, just as in getting a perfect relationship. It takes lots of hard-work and team work to make things work.

One of the many best things I admired about my husband is that he is willing to support me. I can see that he is not happy if I am not growing my own path. I have found a perfect man indeed. Oh well, he is JUST my soulmate — we found each other by chance and we made a choice to be together forever — sealed it with a promise in front of God. But then again maybe we have already fulfilled our love this lifetime, that is why he was already called back.

Our relationship is the independent type. We value each others privacy through trust. At the start of the relationship we agreed that there will be times that we need our “me” time. As we will now be together for the rest of our lives, we decided that there will definitely be boring times, and the me times and having that agreement makes our relationship stronger. We have so many topics to share and humors to throw at that boring time never arrived. And that short second of our me time, even if we are on the same room, makes us miss each other so much that we are so impatient to hold each other again.

Come to think of it today, this may also be one of the reasons why I managed to get through the darkest times of his loss — our independence. Despite our being together as couple, we still have our own life to live. It did not for a bit lessen our love for each other. In fact, it was the other way around, we grew fonder of each other. We are, in fact, still two souls living the earth, walking the same direction and that when the other left, I am still whole. It may not be about my bravery after losing a loved one, it is about having to continue living my life. We both did not believe in a relationship where one is succeeding while the other is contented waiting for his other half to come home and talk about his day. That may work for other couples, but for us, being the unique us, we believed in empowering each other and supporting each others chosen endeavor.

And that when talking about love, it is the soul who felt our overflowing love. And even though the love I’ve given was taken along by him, I still have the love he gave me and that is I believe that keeps me from breaking.

Grateful for the Love

Lately I’ve been thinking about my husband. Though it has been years since I last saw him, since I last touched him, since the last time he whispered to me, “i love you”, he still is the constant man running in my mind. It has been a while but still it feels as if the feeling of his love and appreciation is still saving my life.

It is not that I am living in the past. I have, for so long, have moved forward in life. A lot of things has changed in it and I continue to grow. I continue to feel love from others, be it romantic or friendly, and I’m openly accepting it. It is indeed such a wonderful feeling, being able to feel love and be loved in return.

At the end of the day I realize without regret, that all the love the people around me can give is the sum of my husband’s great love for me. Hardly can anyone replace the love I received from him and honestly, my heart is not yet in a hurry to look for one as it still enjoy love’s overflowing devotion.

Sometimes it’s hard to explain because as humans, we believe only what our eyes can see, not what our hearts can feel.